This Week in the World of Combatting Perfectionism

Nov 4

I realized this week that I am attempting to tackle an animal that is way bigger than I ever imagined. It's so big I sometimes feel like Atlas.

Western society does not teach people "the paradox."

What is the paradox? The paradox is the balance of the divine feminine and the divine masculine.

The basic idea that intuition guides you through life, and then you must create by showing up, thump thump, one foot in front of the other.

It is "this" and it is "that."

It is do and it is also "sit the fuck down and breathe."

Imperfections, curiosity, wonder, and chipping away at the block are not taught in our schools. Perfectionism is. Perfectionism and STANDARDIZATION. (This is deliberate, to make sure we all fall in line to keep the corporate machine churnin' away.)

Perfectionism is "the grade" we want to receive. We want to make sure we're doing it right and well. We are taught "action = reward" in school and our corporate job market mimics that.

For your entire life, you've been taught that every effort you put forward must be big, massive, "good," and exact by someone else's definition.

Waiting until the "good effort" or the "good idea" comes along before taking inspired action on your intuitive guidance translates to yourself (and thereby the world) as paralysis, stagnancy, and inactivity.

Being "stuck" is the result of this paralysis.

Many of us created a lot when we were younger, but as we age, it seems less. Our brains are calcified and rigid. We have trouble building new things, meeting new people, and shifting the narrative.

We have trouble making even the tiniest change to our routine and then we wonder why every larger area of our life is completely stagnant.

It's because everyone is looking for the "right" and "fast" way, and Westerners, especially women, were not taught self-regulation.

And tbh I don't give a fuck what you were taught. You always knew the way, and then you chose to "buy" the system.

Forgive yourself. Then, fuckin' go to customer service because it's time for a REFUND.

You choose each day whether or not to live under the influence of standardized education. It is a choice.

One person I had a call with (not a client) recently told me "I don't have the ability to self-regulate."

There is a pandemic in our society. It's called learned helplessness.

I was thinking in this conversation "so... what do you want to do? Just... perish?"

If you were an animal with that attitude a vulture would feast on your eye.

We are powerful as all fuck!

Powerful. As fuck. As FUCK.

I'll leave you with this.

One of my best friends, Mario, jokingly sent me an audio recording of The Dan Le Batard Show when I first began this work.

The audio was of Dan's guest, Greg Cote, a sports columnist for The Miami Herald.

"LIFE COACHES!" he says. "Whatever happened to self-sufficiency? The very basic idea that everyone was their own head coach in the game of life?"

I found it hilarious because that is why the life coaches are here!

Because somewhere along the line we forgot how to do it our way, and we began aiming to do it someone else's way.

A good life coach isn't going to tell you to do squat. They're going to ask you questions to help you get out of this weird paradigm of learned helplessness and perfectionism.

Personally, I would love it if I could see a client twice and then never see them again. Adios, see ya later.

And. Decades of programming include decades of knots.

But make no mistake-- you are 100% in the driver's seat for your life. If it is stagnant, it's because of your beliefs. Nobody else's.

We are exploring the balance of masculine and feminine, living life “now,” and leading with intention in my women’s coaching community, Day 1.

We reopen soon. Read more about Day 1. here

If you're curious about "what else," because you've had enough of the same old, just shoot me an email. andee@getthefuckoff.com or visit the coaching page and fill out the application

Stay beautiful, and have a great weekend

Andee