You can teach a person how to do something until you're blue in the face... People won't do shit that is incongruent with their value systems.

I KNOW.

I know!

I'm going to give you an example:

Because I'm a coach I get solicitations from every business coach from here to Mumbai claiming to have the system that will be for sure the panacea to all of my possible money woes.

Except... they won't be.

Every system of something is going to work. Every system.

But not every system will work for every person, because people act in accordance to their beliefs, and their beliefs are determined by their values. Often, those value systems were created by things outside of us, and we will not act incongruent with those systems.

So, for example, if some shlup tells me the secret to building a coaching business is sending cold, copy/pasted DMs, I will not do it. Why? Because it is incongruent with the value system that I learned growing up.

I have a belief that conversation should be personal, relatable, and authentic.

Is this true? No! Conversation is cookie cutter all the fucking time. Half of your inbox is cold, cookie cutter bullshit some non-creative AI put together to sell you a new pair of jeans.

Yet, I have a value system that opposes this strategy, so I will not do it. I will not do it at tremendous costs.

You could tell me "send cold DMs for a week straight and you'll pay off alllllll of your school debt" and I'd be lettin' that shit go to default.

Value systems are strong.

The reason people don't make transformations is not because they don't know what to do. It's because of who they believe they are, and that belief being incongruent with the actions needed to be taken to achieve their desired result.

I was having a business meeting just this past week with a colleague that is selling his coaching program for weight loss. He said to be "it's simple, you just need to create a calorie deficit."

Except it's not that simple. People have layers and layers of identity attached to their eating behaviors.

Macro systems like government have influenced the standard American diet since we were children.

Then, money-making systems influenced the resulting overweight Americans to do random shit to their bodies in accordance with self-hate, not self love.

There are actually grown ass women who try to meet the caloric needs of toddlers because of those systems. (1,200 calories. Coincidentally the people who try to do this are usually the heaviest. Meanwhile my happy ass eats 2,500)

Because the aforementioned systems oppress women, the women begin to rebel against them.

Call it good ol' American sovereignty. The value system that we will not be oppressed! AT ANY COST!

Except there is a cost. These women end up rebelling against shit that we're naturally meant to do, like move our bodies.

I had a client who was beginning intuitive eating, and said she was intuitively called to eat yogurt, but felt she shouldn't because yogurt is attached to diet culture. (Do you see this? Shit's strong.)

It's all cyclical.

I get a kick out of people on my Instagram telling people how much protein to eat, or posting those generic photos of their breakfasts on their stories.

Motherfuckers don't care.

If they have a belief that health is not for them, they will not align themselves with health.

If they have a belief that your berries, eggs, and toast align with a system that left them feeling oppressed and less than, they're gonna reach for the Lucky Charms.

Just like I won't send cold DMs for a quick buck.

We do not have free will. We just think we do.

BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS you can explore these beliefs in detail when you have someone to hold a mirror.

I just had three one-on-one clients finish within the last month and a half, so I have space for new applicants.

What do I do?

Shit like this.

Challenge your beliefs about who you are, and introduce to you the macro systems that may be responsible for why you hold your limiting beliefs.

You can check out my coaching page here: https://www.getthefuckoff.com/coaching

I have a form/application if you're interested in hearing more about what this looks like.

I also still do power hours on Tuesdays and Friday's, and they're really useful for getting clarity in one area. There's more information on the coaching page.

If you are not an email subscriber yet, you can subscribe to learn more at breakfree.getthefuckoff.com

If you get value out of The Get the F*ck Off Podcast, feel free to leave me a tip in the tip jar here: https://breakfree.getthefuckoff.com/products/tip-jar