We have this idea in Western society that failure is a bad thing, and should be avoided at all costs.

This affects people in major ways, including but not limited to:

• They become afraid to try new things

• They stay in situations that don’t serve them way longer than they should

I’ve experienced both of these very profoundly in my life. I, like most people in the West, was taught from a young age that progress is linear.

“Once you start, you stick with it until the bitter end.”

Anything that you start that you don’t finish MUST BE A TESTAMENT TO HOW SHITTY YOU ARE. (This is why people don’t start the podcast, write the book, begin the project, get into a new relationship, etc, etc)

I was taught that I should be loyal, go down with the ship, stay until the end, give everything every speck of energy that I have.

And for it, I stayed in a shitty job, and many relationships, friendships entirely too long, long after they stopped serving me.

Loyalty was something I adopted as a value from a young age because most of my emotional needs when I was a teenager were met outside of my home. I began to view the kind people in my social circle as sage, and became a true “ride or die.”

Even today, friendships to me are family. I, like many people who grew up in the way I did, struggle with letting go of friendships for this reason.

However, for me, protecting my energy is priority one.

When you do something or continue to engage in something that doesn’t serve you for the sake of anyone else, you are neglecting priority one.

When you neglect priority one, others in your life will negatively experience the consequences.

So, there is a major importance in making decisions that are self-serving. It isn’t a failure to walk away. There’s no prize for being a ride or die if the relationship leaves you energetically strained and without the ability to manage yourself and your emotions.

By learning to fail gracefully, and renegotiating my ideas about loyalty, I’ve freed up so much of myself for my tribe. And you, my friend, can do the same.