On Living In the Past: How Not Being Here Now Causes Us to Suffer
No suffering exists in the now.
Humans create their suffering by existing in a time that isn't the eternal now. They tell stories about themselves, often disempowering, often without accuracy.
Take the “break-up” example.
“But Andee, I’m suffering going through a breakup.”
When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up in 2018, the suffering that I went through was not in the present, in the now. In the moments when we were apart after the breakup, I actually was thriving.
I was getting my health in order, drinking less, losing weight, running. I quit smoking. I was slowly healing and my mental health improved every day.
The suffering came from the past. Either in A. thinking about shit that went to hell or B. thinking about great things I’d miss. Conversely, I suffered psychologically with “I’m going to miss him. He won’t be here for x.”
All of that was made up in psychological time.
Also, the future that I predicted would be so horrible never occurred. Life only became great.
Any time we suffer as humans, it’s from stories we either tell about who we’ve been, or who we want to be but are not yet.
Also, our memories of the past are often extremely distorted, and our perception of the world we lived in comes from a narrow, ego-centered view.
In the now, everything is perfect.
As I ask in this episode:
"Are you willing to part with your ego-dominated idea that your memories of the past are 100% true to life?”
Also, are you willing to use the power of empathy to understand the major players who play the part of villains in your story?
